10 Rules for Not Being a Complete Douche Bag

by Dave on October 13, 2008

I have decided to take a break from the standard Internet Marketing talk on this blog to post some ideals I try to live by each day.

I fail.

And I fail on almost a daily basis.

But at least I know I am trying to be a better person, what are you doing?

Rule #1: Don’t enter everyday of your life trying to prove to everyone how much smarter you are than them

Rule #2: Realize that your fellow humans have something to teach you and be willing to accept that education

Rule #3: STOP thinking your belief systems and ideals are more valid than someone elses

Rule #4: Before you treat people like they are worth less than you, remember what it was like to get picked on as a kid (and if you don’t know what it’s like to get picked on let me know and I will find you and bully you for a bit)

Rule #5: Try to remember that one day you will die, what will your legacy be?

Rule #6: Open a door or let someone in in traffic once a day

Rule #7: Have one conversation a day where you do not mention or reference yourself or your accomplishments

Rule #8: Before talking down to a person imagine that person is the one person you love in life more than yourself, would you still talk that way?

Rule #9: Next time you are about to complain about something remember there are kids starving in Darfur, then rethink your complaint.

Rule #10: Admit once a day you were wrong about something!

Add your rules below!

{ 46 comments… read them below or add one }

1 paisley October 13, 2008 at 1:23 pm

i like it.. no wonder i have a high opinion of you.

=)

2 Kenny Hyder October 13, 2008 at 1:32 pm

NICE, Rule #11: Die Quietly, no one wants to hear you whine!

3 Marjory October 13, 2008 at 1:35 pm

Hey, you misspelled “than” in rule number 1 (I guess I just violated it, didn’t I but then I was trying to be a douche bag). So shoot me. All kidding aside, great post again. You rock.

4 admin October 13, 2008 at 1:41 pm

Thanks Marjory. You could never be a d-bag :-) Fixed

5 Zachary Tumin October 13, 2008 at 1:55 pm

As Heine said, ya gotta forgive your enemies, but not before they’ve been hanged. if we live by these, and check off against them, we will definitely make the world a btter place & ourselves decent folks trying hard. All that can be asked.

6 Monica Wright October 13, 2008 at 2:41 pm

Nice. Interesting timing, someone let me go in front of them when I was bringing the boys out to lunch, although they were clearly there first. It’s amazing how it can set the tone for the day.

7 ScreenRant.com October 13, 2008 at 4:34 pm

If people employed those rules in their online communications (blogs, social sites, etc) the internet would be a VERY different place.

Vic

8 Paul October 13, 2008 at 11:50 pm

Loved it overall.Not sure I am too worried about #5. If you live by the rest of your code that part will work itself out

9 Barry Wise October 21, 2008 at 1:29 pm

These don’t apply to dealings with customers and clients, right?

10 Michael October 25, 2008 at 10:16 am

#11: Add one “to do” solely for someone else’s benefit to every To Do list you write.

11 Tyler Hurst October 26, 2008 at 1:32 pm

#12: Don’t add your own rules to someone else’s list.

12 David Temple October 28, 2008 at 11:40 pm

David you are a class act. These are indeed rules to live by and from what I’ve seen you practice what you preach. And thanks for the internet marketing reprieve.

13 Ed November 29, 2008 at 8:32 pm

I mulled over half of these in my head today, before Brogan ever showed me this post.

Thanks for the #validation.

14 Kristyann November 29, 2008 at 8:33 pm

Nice list!!
Should get these put on cards so whenever I catch someone being a db, I can just slip them a card and walk away :)

15 johnpiercy November 29, 2008 at 8:34 pm

rule #11 always listen to a senior .. they maybe old and gray , but they have ideas

16 Arleen Anderson November 29, 2008 at 8:35 pm

#13 Luck is not something that happens to you. Luck is what you choose to make of your life, and it’s more frequent when you focus on blessing the lives of others.

17 steven wilson November 29, 2008 at 8:38 pm

Rules that should be posted in quick site for daily viewing.

18 Deb Brown November 29, 2008 at 8:42 pm

I was going to blog about the people who want me to hear them but don’t want to hear me –and then I read your blog. I”m going to practice the Golden Rule some now. great blog.

Deb http://www.debworks.com

19 Todd Earwood November 29, 2008 at 8:43 pm

Great post. I think we all need to hear these. Many times social media becomes who beats their chest the loudest, so it’s refreshing and a good reminder for us all.

20 Alexandra November 29, 2008 at 8:46 pm

Great list. May I also suggest:

14. “Spend a few minutes every day appreciating all you have to be grateful for. Act from a place of gratitude.”

21 hurlyburly November 29, 2008 at 8:51 pm

When I read Rule #1, I thought you might be interesting. When I read Rule #10, I realized I was wrong about you. See, I admit when I was wrong.

Now whose the douche bag?

22 Lorraine Ball November 29, 2008 at 8:56 pm

15. Say Thank you - and mean it. Look up an old teacher, and tell him/her what she meant to you, say thanks to the clerk in the convenience store.

Simply say thanks, and enjoy the look on the other person’s face

23 Vajrppa November 29, 2008 at 8:58 pm

Fantastic list. Great food for thought. Thank you.

24 Chris Hooley November 29, 2008 at 9:06 pm

You don’t tug on Superman’s cape
don’t spit into the wind
don’t pull the mask off that old Lone Ranger
and you don’t mess around with gin.

25 Hazel Walker November 29, 2008 at 9:13 pm

16. Take time to just listen to people, really listen.

26 JonZ November 29, 2008 at 9:23 pm

Great list and thanks. I have to also agree with Hazel. I am constantly reminding myself to listen instead of thinking of my response when someone is speaking.

27 Paul November 29, 2008 at 9:28 pm

A somewhat related game: http://douchebagbingo.com

28 Casey Butler November 29, 2008 at 9:30 pm

I can’t remember who said this, but I like it and it’s kind of relevant:
“The secret to being a complete bore is to tell everything”

29 Wa Mui November 29, 2008 at 10:07 pm

Re: “Rule #3: STOP thinking your belief systems and ideals are more valid than someone elses”

What if my belief system includes ideals that all females in Afghanistan should have the right to education?

I actually feel I have every right to force those ideals down the throats of those who don’t actually believe it. And if they don’t believe it then I believe those people should be banished.

30 Heather (How to be a Woman..?) November 29, 2008 at 10:08 pm

It would help my self-esteem a great deal if you would wait at least a day after our champagne brunches to write these types of posts. I’m starting to develop a complex.

31 Jay November 29, 2008 at 10:15 pm

I’ve been on twitter for about a month. I follow some who seem to be “gurus” of social media. I noticed a few of them tweeted a link to this page. I truly hope they adopt these rules. It’s not fun to watch these folks try to be relevant and profound 30 times a day.

32 Bluejeanslady November 29, 2008 at 11:09 pm

Had to laugh with Jay’s comment above….It is true that peeps are always trying to be relevant and profound many times a day on the internet. It is the nature of the beast. Many of us just starting to learn….many trying to maintain their lead. Odd how hard we make our lives when just a few simple rules followed by all would make us equally happy.

33 Dean November 29, 2008 at 11:41 pm

#3 - the world would be a better place if liberals/conservatives would take this to heart.

And if you think that’s not true, you’re part of the problem.

34 Shannon Ehlers November 30, 2008 at 2:34 am

#XX (I’ve lost count because there are so many #11s)

Hey - just have a little fun! Life is serious enough, no matter if you’re a real person or just a blogger. So let’s all “LUAU” (lighten up “asteroid”, understand?)!

And I echo Jay - the reason I’m not more prominent on Twitter is exactly this glut.

35 Andrea de Michaelis November 30, 2008 at 11:31 am

Excellent list, I’d like to reprint this in my (print)magazine.

36 Carrie November 30, 2008 at 3:38 pm

Great list!

37 Shannon Norrell November 30, 2008 at 3:44 pm

Do something nice for someone else. Ask for nothing in return but for them to “pass it on” to someone else under the same terms.

38 Marti November 30, 2008 at 7:16 pm

Have you been reading my new book? *grin*

I did include a nearly identical list - general rules for being a better person. You have a catchier title though. Thanks for sharing!

39 Brandon M. Sergent December 2, 2008 at 11:52 pm

Blah blah blah, Translation… “Try to be as servile self doubting and robotic as possible, but don’t let yourself THINK you are being servile self doubting and robotic, make your slavery YOUR idea, be proud of it.”

Ask Newton how he’d have felt about this.

40 Ironic December 3, 2008 at 7:48 pm

I find it ironic that one of the biggest douche bags I know posted a link to this page on her Twitter. So, I wonder are douche bags interested in reading about how not to be douchey–highly self-aware or entirely out of touch?

41 Clark December 26, 2008 at 11:19 am

You can be a man and kick some ass, or you can be a woman and kiss some ass.

But in America, the men have been domesticated, but not castrated, yet.

42 Mark Knowles March 29, 2009 at 8:32 pm

Dave,

Nice post. That’s a good list, a tough list, a list that helps us each of us help each other. “Imagine all the people… “

43 mass mailer April 1, 2009 at 7:17 pm

Like the rant and would love to see more of these types of rants.

Tired of all the Glass Jaws posting crap that they know nothing about.

44 bulk email sender April 1, 2009 at 7:21 pm

Thanks Dave for the List. I am new to internet marketing and trying to learn as much as I can. Free tips are always appreciated!

45 Brett Schulte September 15, 2009 at 11:30 am

Thanks for this, I needed it.

46 John D February 10, 2010 at 11:26 pm

And even if you are smarter than someone, it doesn’t mean they aren’t right, and it doesn’t mean you can’t learn from them

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